the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
