sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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