you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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