so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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