He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
