His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
