member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
