I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
