So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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