wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
