I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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