So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
