How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
