dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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