How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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