NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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