I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
