They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
