Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think i have two assholes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
