I wish I could punch you in the face.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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