he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
