I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
