Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
