reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
