I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
