so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize