he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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