Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize