Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
