i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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