And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
