Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
