There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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