You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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