i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
