omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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