If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
