i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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