there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
