he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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