ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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