Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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