Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize