Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
