I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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