it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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