I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
