At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
