thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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