I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
