Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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