You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
