oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
