i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
