I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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