I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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