is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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