Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
