Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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