Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
