Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The air was thick with penises
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
